Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders

Gender identity disorder is generally called transexuallism. Transvestism refers to the practice of obtaining sexual pleasure by dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex. Today the term cross-dressing is more commonly used because it does not allow for a mistake of transsexualism, which is a complete gender change from the original sex. Transvestism is a paraphilia for which the essential feature is intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies involving dressing in clothing of those of the opposite sex. It is extremely important to note that just because an individual is classified as a transvestite does not mean that they are necessarily homosexual. Extensive studies have been conducted to show that transvestites are not homosexual in many documented cases. Many psychiatric concepts have been used to try and explain why transvestism is prominent in certain individuals, such as the constitutional predisposition of unknown origin known as degeneration. Degeneration referred to an innate neurologic weakness that is transmitted with increased severity to future generations and produced deviations from the norm. Despite there being many theories on transvestism, there are no commonly accepted ideas because human sexual disorders can be extremely difficult to understand. In some cases, transvestism can become so prominent in an individual that they become transsexual. An individual who is transsexual usually begins with taking hormone injections and undergoes plastic surgeries in order to change their sex organs to the opposite sex. While transvestism is not widely accepted as a norm today, society has generally learned to accept the idea that some individuals are born with this sexual disorder.

Sexual sadism could as well be identified as paraphilia. Someone who delivers sexual sadism is called a sadist. The administered humiliation, pain and suffering could either be psychological or physical. The pain, humiliation and suffering may also cause injuries or death to the person receiving them. During a sadistic behavior, the person who is receiving the pain or humiliation may not be a willing partner. Though, sadists usually live their daily lives in agony and impairment because of the aggressive behaviors or cruel fantasies.

There are many assumptions to the cause of sexual sadism; some are branching from the psychoanalytic group. For example, the psychoanalysis method implied that childhood trauma such as sexual abuse or major childhood incidents can reveal itself in nonsensical behavior. Because of the test results finding by neuropsychological and neurological from sex offenders, some psychologists tend to believe that sexual sadism might be genetic or due to biological factors. Even though the desire for sexual sadism could begin during one’s infancy, the commencement of active sexual sadism normally take place throughout early adulthood. However, the real cause of sexual sadism is still unknown. Also, sadists are not easily diagnosed. Some are forced by family members, friends or court order to seek therapy, which often helps with the treatment of sexual sadism.

In addition, sexual masochism is the opposite of sexual sadism. The masochist feels excited when receiving humiliation, pain and suffering. The physical actions of a masochistic could involve several different activities such as: cutting, piercing, beating, blindfolding, electrical shock, being urinated or defecated on, forced to bark, verbally abused, and forced to cross-dress. One could be identified as a masochist after receiving these symptoms for at least six months; however, it is known that men are found to be more sexual masochists than women. The cause for sexual masochism is also unknown. Based on learning theory, sexual masochists were initiated because of suppression from unsuitable sexual fantasies. In today’s society, most of the sexual fantasies are derived from the conscious and unconscious state of mind. Some psychologists believe that masochists enjoy receiving the pain and humiliation in order to feel empowered.

Very few sadomasochism search for help with a therapist or a social worker. Sadomasochism that tends not to seek help often gets into trouble due to sexual variations. The level of tensions by society increases toward people with bizarre sexual preferences. Although, the cause of sadomasochism is unknown, the disorder can be treated. Similar to other types of paraphilia, treatment is mainly dependent on the person’s desire and willingness to change. Numerous forms of therapy such as: psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, aversion and positive behavioral therapy approaches, reality therapy, medications, hormonal treatment, reconditioning and restructuring techniques have been found effective in treating sadomasochism. An additional method that can be used to treat sadomasochism is social skills training. Social skills training is one of a kind that needs to develop within healthy family relations; however, it could be that some people who developed sadistic and masochistic behavior may perhaps in part, because they do not know how to form healthy relationships, whether sexual or nonsexual, with other people. Even though, social skill training is not a substitute for medications or psychotherapy for sadistic and masochistic, but it sure can be useful as an adjunctive treatment.

In comparison, a sadist is one who enjoys giving pain during sexual intercourse while a masochist enjoys receiving the pain giving by the sadist also known as sadomasochism. According to several psychologists, including Sigmund Freud, most sadomasochism is upper or middle class men and women who are highly educated and hold professional jobs. The necessary element is not the pain or repression itself, instead it is the facts that the sadist most of the time has more power or controlled over the masochist.

Another known sexual disorder is forced sexual behavior, which is generally broken down into three different areas: rape, sexual abuse of children, and sexual harassment. Rape is generally defined as the act of forcing sexual activity on an unwilling person. Over the past few decades rape has become increasingly prominent in the United States, so much so that a reported one in six women have been raped. Rapists generally do not have a distinct profile, but several theories exist as to some of the reasons why men choose to rape women. Others believe in a cycle of abuse in which men that were abused as children are more likely to engage in acts of sexual misconduct such as rape. This theory is especially prevalent when talking about the sexual abuse of children, which includes incest, child molestation, and pedophilia. Incest refers to sexual relations between relatives. Incest is prevalent in many cases where there has been a cycle of abuse and a parent sexually abuses their own child. Child molestation refers to the sexual behavior with a child without force or direct threat of force. This form of forced sexual behavior is still considered forced because a child can’t legally consent to the act. This form of forced sexual behavior can be equally as damaging to a child simply from the mental distress it puts the child through. Pedophilia refers to the persistent sexual interest in children who have not reached puberty. Most pedophiles are men while the victims are young females, but there are still plenty of reported cases where the victim is a male and the pedophile is a female. Many pedophiles also commit the other acts of forced sexual abuse and continue the acts throughout their lifetime. Sexual harassment is the final act of forced sexual behavior that is included in this discussion. Sexual harassment refers to the unwanted sexual advances, comments, or any other form of coercive sexual behavior by others. Sexual harassment is so prevalent in the United States today, especially in the workplace, that most jobs promote sexual harassment awareness within the first week of being hired. Just because an individual has not committed the actual act of touching another person does not mean that it can’t be equally as damaging.

In today’s lifecycle, people have different ways of expressing their desires as a voyeur or exhibitionist. In most cases, they are harmless. Voyeurism and exhibitionism are two sexual activities, but the two are both engaged with different meanings. Both voyeurism and exhibitionism are considered paraphilia. Voyeurism is when one individual watches the other individual undress his or her clothes during a sexual activity, such as taking a shower or getting undressed for bed. The term voyeur comes from the French, and means “one who looks”. Men are the main the suspects to be called a voyeur. A person is considered a voyeur when he or she is caught sneaking to watch a person undress, and he or she gets aroused by watching the person take his or her clothes off. Most victims are complete strangers to the voyeur. When a person is listening to a sexual conversation over the telephone, he or she is performing a type of voyeurism also. A stranger may never know that he or she is being watched by a voyeur. Women can be caught being a voyeur throughout life too. Voyeurs are in the dark people. They rather stay hidden, and never be seen because of the embarrassment, but they love to watch a stranger take off his or her clothes. Most men who struggle to fulfill their own sex life, are the main ones diagnosed as a voyeur. A voyeur must want to better his or her behavior in order to let go of the bad habit.

A person could have multiple types of fetishism going in his or her life. Amputee, breast, sexual, foot, etc. are all different types of fetishism. When a person has a sexual fetishism, this act can be very dangerous and scary to the innocent bystander. Fetishism is a disorder that is characterized when there is a pathological assignment of sexual fixation. Fetishism can be looked at as harassment by many different people. Harassments can happen at any time, place and by any person. Fetishism is found primarily in heterosexual men. The male gender outnumbers the female gender when it comes to voyeurism, exhibitionism, and fetishism. The male gender is always trying to find a quick way to get aroused. Anyone can be a victim when it comes to voyeurism and exhibitionism. People still do not understand the actions of either behavior. Although voyeurs and exhibitionist know that they are risking their life with their actions; however, they still feel like they cannot control their behavior. They rather get in trouble for their actions, rather than seek help.

In almost every sexual and gender identity disorder case, the exact causes of these disorders are not entirely known. Some researchers believe it is biological and genetic causes, while other researchers believe people start developing sexual and gender identity disorders throughout their adulthood. While people would like to believe that these disorders are made up in a person’s unconscious mind, it is truly hard to believe; especially when people go to extremes of having sex changes or setting up dungeon rooms to play out their fantasies. Most societies are not accepting of people who prefer abnormal sexual practices, but hopefully researchers will have a breakthrough to help determine the causes of these disorders and help people better understand the abnormal.

Interiew with Aline Zoldbrod, Author of “Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life”

We are pleased to have Aline with us today as she gives as insight on how non-sexual family of origin issues form a persons sexuality.

Irene: Aline, your book “Sex Smart” is a book like none other. Please tell our audience what your book is about.

Aline: “SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It” explodes the myth that sexual development is simple and Straight forward. SexSmart’s central message is that healthy sexual development actually is quite varied and complicated. We each come to our adult sexuality having walked down our own special path. And many families in which there was no specific, sexual abuse actually do cause profound damage to childrens’ developing sexuality.

SexSmart explains how the way you were raised in your family– whether you were touched nicely or cruelly or not at all, whether you could depend on your parents to take care of you, whether you got empathy, whether you trusted your parents and your siblings, what the power relationships were, and even whether you were encouraged to have friends–all deeply affect whether you will be able to enjoy sexual pleasure, and also whether you will feel safe being sexual with someone to whom you are emotionally attached. In SexSmart I describe fourteen “Milestones of Sexual Development.”

Irene: How does whether or not you got empathy from your parents have any bearing on sexuality?

Aline: Good parents are empathetic. They let themselves feel what their child is feeling, and then they respond to what the child needs. The more that the child sees that parents will respond to her needs, the more the child trusts that the energy expended to communicate is worth the effort. And so trust, and communication skills, build.

People who did not receive empathy from their parents have many problems with sexual(and emotional) relationships as adults. For instance, if you didn’t get empathy, you might be deeply afraid of getting hurt, so you may avoid getting into relationships altogether. You may be lacking in practice in communicating, or believe that it is pointless to talk about what you want (since you believe no one cares about how you feel.) So if you then do get into a sexual relationship, it is difficult for you to talk about your sexual likes and dislikes, or even to talk about it when a particular sexual activity is causing you anxiety, discomfort or pain.

If an unempathic parent was neglectful or abusive, there is a good chance that you will be chronically tense. If you can’t let yourself relax and be soothed, by definition, you will not be able to enjoy sexual pleasure in the context of a tender, steady relationship.
(You may still be able to enjoy the excitement of a new, lust-filled one, though.)

Irene: What inspired you to write this book?

Aline: Being able to have a sexual bond with a beloved partner is one of the great joys of life. It’s a spiritual, deep, health-giving experience. Sex shouldn’t be a source of anxiety, doubt, shame, or pain. It saddens me that so many people haven’t experienced their sexuality as a force for good in their life. I believe that reading and working through SexSmart can be a path to sexual enlightenment and sexual freedom for many people. As a sex therapist, I have met and helped hundreds and hundreds of men and women who are unhappy with their sexual selves. But as an author, I can help people I never even met.

There are so many women and men in America and in the world who do not enjoy being sexual. They don’t enjoy feeling sexual as a solo activity, and they don’t feel safe and comfortable being sexual with a partner. Some of them feel guilty. Some of them experience sex as needing to be a perfect performance each time, which spoils it. Some of them have sexual dysfunctions caused by anxiety and lack of education. And some had childhoods that were flawed in such a way that they literally do not know what it feels like to experience sexual tinglings and urgings in their own body.

You would be surprised to know how many people think that in reality, sexuality isn’t that great, that sexual pleasure is nothing much, and that all the emphasis on sex is a big media hoax! I hope that readers will use SexSmart as a map, guiding them to un-do the damage suffered by growing up in a dysfunctional family.

Irene: Why would some people think that sex is a big media hoax?

Aline: Each of us only knows the experience we have in our own body. People who have never experienced sexual pleasure in their own bodies have no reason to believe other people who insist that sex feels great.

There are large numbers of people who never learned that any kind of touch feels good. Many people grew up in “good” families with parents who were responsible, but unaffectionate. So they don’t unconsciously or consciously link touch and love. Others grew up with parents who were unbelievably anxious, and they absorbed so much anxiety from their parents’ touch that they associate touch with anxiety.

Far too many people grew up in families where they witnessed or experienced violence, which is devastating to sexuality. Witnessing or experiencing violence alters one’s feelings about being safe in one’s own body. I believe it can be as negative an experience, sexually, as some kinds of sexual abuse. Witnessing or being the direct victim of violence in your family teaches you that it’s not safe to love or trust. It teaches you that it’s not a good idea to ever let down your guard emotionally. It literally changes people’s “BodyMaps” so that it becomes impossible to relax, let go of control, and allow another person to pleasure you. The body remembers! If you were slapped in the face, for instance, you might flinch when someone you love tries to caress your face. If you came from a physically violent family, you can learn to experience sexual pleasure. But to do so, you have to process what happened to you, not minimize it.

Think of your associations to touch and trust as the first step in a
cascade of good physical and emotional associations you must feel first in your body before you can feel the building up of sexual arousal:

love=> touch => trust=> love=> safety=> drift=> float

love=> touch => trust=> love=> safety=> drift=> float => AROUSAL

Consistent, good experience with loving touch helps you to make
crucial links which you need. You need to be able to link love with touch, and touch with safety. If you can’t make these associations, you need to re-learn touch. Otherwise, you may never experience sex as pleasurable.

Irene: You claim that “sexual abuse” can happen in families in where there was not, literally, sex abuse. Please explain what that means.

Aline: Most people have an inadequate, shallow sense of what the building blocks of healthy sexuality are. Healthy sexuality is not based just in what you were told about sex, or in your appropriate or inappropriate sexual experiences in your family. It’s about what you witnessed and learned in your family about trust, safety, touch, gender relationships, anxiety, power, self worth, your body, and friendship. One basic motivation to be sexual comes from what you learned about being in relationship to another person. Was it worth getting close to another human being emotionally, let alone sexually?

People completely underestimate the effects of neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or having an alcoholic or drug addicted parent on their sexuality. I have begun to call these other kinds of abuse “non sexual abuse.”

Sexual abuse is a horrible thing. However, I am certain that in terms of numbers of people affected, more people in America have sexual issues caused by growing up in families in which there was NON-SEXUAL abuse–such as lack of loving touch, alcoholism or drug abuse, physical violence, emotional abuse, or neglect–than were hurt by actual sexual abuse.

Irene: What would be some sexual issues that are caused by, what you say, “non-sexual abuse”?

Aline: Well, as an example, let me just pick the Milestone of Touch, and show you two lists from SexSmart. Readers should ask themselves what are their associations to touch.
You can’t enjoy sex if you don’t like touch. I like to say that touch is the “Ground Zero” of sexuality. People who had a good experience with touch have wonderful associations to touch.

Here are some good associations from my patients. Touch equals: pleasure, relaxation, fun, softness, good memories, comfort, normal, help, connection, I’m worth touching, calming, indulgence, massage, deep breathing, good mother, good father, sensuality, a worthwhile activity, good sexual memories.
good sexual memories

Contrast this to the associations to touch that people have when there was lack of affection, neglect, or violence. Touch equals: fear, controlling, out of control, awkward, pain, numb, tense/anxiety, guilt, startle response, bad memories, discomfort, weird, danger, confusion, what does this mean?, jumpy, is this proper? Uptight, holding breath, no mother, bad mother, no father, bad father, boring, a waste of time, no sexual memories.

Irene: Your hope is that people who read “Sex Smart” will see themselves in the book, or that some of the information will speak to them. What particular areas do you feel are the most important for the readers to relate to.

Aline: It’s funny. I have to say that every person reading SexSmart responds to different pieces of it. SexSmart discusses sexual development sequentially, beginning with birth and going through my fourteen Milestones of Sexual Development. (For instance, touch, empathy, trust, body image, gender identity, and so on.) Different readers’ families created problems at each Milestone. Readers absorb the book and highlight the parts that speak to them, personally, along with the workbook questions that challenge them the most.

Irene: In your practice, do you see more of one particular issue, than others? If so, what is it, and please explain why this particular issue is more prevalent?

Aline: Well, Irene, coming from a dysfunctional family can lead to just about every sexual dysfunction in the world, but I’ll comment on a few which I see frequently. The first is probably longstanding low sexual desire. People who grow up in families where there is very little tenderness, touch, caring, empathy, or safety have a hard time trusting in an emotional sense, and they also have an almost impossible time relaxing in their body. So it is common to meet people from difficult families who have never experienced sexual desire in their entire lives, because they have never allowed themselves to relax, breathe deeply, and allow sexual feelings and impulses to emerge and percolate through their bodies. They literally don’t know, can’t identify, and can’t even tolerate sexual feelings. So they don’t believe they can have sexual feelings.

Another typical effect of growing up with “non-sexual sexual abuse” is sexual addiction, especially in men. It is common for boys who grow up in unaffectionate, neglectful, emotionally abusive, or violent homes to discover masturbation as a way to self-soothe. When they were sad or scared, they masturbated. Having an orgasm is like a drug; it changes body chemistry and temporarily dulls painful feelings. It creates a habit of using sex as a crutch, a pattern where men feel that sex is their most important need or that sex is THE cure to unhappy feelings.

Irene: Your book is of importance for parents who want their children to grow up and have positive views of their sexuality. In what ways do you believe parents can affirm to their children that their bodies and their sexuality be accepted in a positive manner?

Aline: I think parents’ biggest obligation to their children is to address their own sexuality. How can you create a child with healthy sexuality if you aren’t comfortable using touch to soothe, or if you don’t feel happy in your own body, or if you think sex is dirty or scary, or if you believe all people of the opposite gender are evil or cruel? If your sexuality was damaged in your own family of origin, fix that first.

Abuse of all kinds goes down the generations. When you take the steps to stop denying what went wrong in your own family, when you have the courage to say “ouch!,” to get into therapy to change things, the buck stops with you. The brave person who goes into therapy and admits the pain he or she suffered can stop the cycle of abuse (of whatever kind) for all the generations which come after him or her.

Irene: I understand you saying that parents need to address their own sexual issues first. However, I would imagine some people don’t feel they have issues because they actually believe their beliefs about sex are correct. Some may even be influenced by religious beliefs. How do you propose to address these parents and have them be aware of the damage they are causing their children?

Aline: I think that most parents want their children to be able to grow up and enjoy being sexual once they are married. Conservative parents do want to make sure that children are celibate BEFORE marriage. I hope that SexSmart can get the word out to all parents about how important affectionate touch, empathy, and trust, and good power relationships are to children. If children are allowed to explore their own bodies, which is important, and if they also have these basic Milestones of Sexual Development, they will grow into sexually healthy adults. If you want to raise your child conservatively, I think you’ll find a lot of useful information about how to insure that your child turns out to be both responsive and responsible sexually as an adult.

Irene: Taking self-responsibility is the most important aspect of creating a healthy view of one’s own sexuality and what one does with it. Why do you believe that others often influence unhealthy views? What are some of the most common unhealthy views that our society has imposed upon us?

Aline: It is normal to be influenced by the people around us. It’s a fact of life. I wish that there were more normal looking people on TV and in the magazines. With all these thin, perfect, surgically enhanced, never-aging bodies around us, it’s hard for many women and men to feel that their own natural looking body is sexy enough. Sadly, a lot of people, women especially, seem to feel that only beautiful, thin women “deserve” to enjoy sex. Actually, as they say, the biggest sex organ is between your ears. How you feel about sexuality and being sexual is the most important determinant of whether you will feel sexual. Normal people have imperfect bodies. And imperfect bodies are perfectly able to feel sexual pleasure!

Irene: Yes, TV and magazines do portray a specific stature that our society seems to think is “normal.” So do books. A lot of the romance novels portray “sexy” women and men and readers escape by becoming the character. Why do you believe that people create their own reality through what they see or read?

Aline: Well, as far as we know, fantasizing seems to be a uniquely human trait. As long as it’s in balance, as long as people aren’t avoiding dealing constructively with issues in their own lives, there is nothing wrong with fantasizing. Sometimes, our fantasies help us see what our goals and dreams for ourselves are, in a way that can be constructive.

Irene: You want to reach specific populations with “Sex Smart.” Who do you think would benefit most by reading this book?

Aline: I would recommend SexSmart to anyone who is baffled about why you are who you are sexually, or for anyone who feels confused, unhappy, or ashamed of your sexuality.

I do think that SexSmart might hold a special key to understanding for certain kinds of readers: First, if you are someone who is terribly frightened of getting both sexually and emotionally close to another person, you can use SexSmart to understand your own fears.

Secondly, I hope to reach people affected by physical violence. SexSmart talks in detail about the changes violence caused in your Body Map, in your sense of trust, in your beliefs about gender relationships, and in creating anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. Family violence may be common, unfortunately, but it is NOT normal, and it shuts down the ability to feel sexual pleasure in close relationships for many people.

Thirdly, if you feel you were destined NOT to have sexual feelings, SexSmart may help you understand why you feel that way. If your sense of being asexual is partly because of your family of origin, SexSmart can help you discover how to become more comfortable with feeling sexual stirrings in your body and toward others.Ironically, on the other hand, many people who have sexual compulsions, who feel insatiable sexual feelings, also find answers in SexSmart. Lastly, I want to reach people who grew up in homes where they suffered emotional abuse or neglect.

Irene: “Sex Smart” is not only a book to read, but also a workbook. Please give us a little insight about the workbook aspect of it.

Aline: As a therapist, I assign homework between sessions. Writing down feelings is an important part of processing them. I find that my patients make more progress in changing when they are active participants. They get more insights, and they move through pain faster. SexSmart is so full of information that unless readers highlight the text and choose and complete some of the exercises which fit them, they won’t get the full benefit. In the homework, I always make the reader write down what the positives are that they need to focus on–what they wished they had said or done, or what they need to do now to fix the problem. The homework can help the reader transform some sad memories and realizations into targeted plans for change.

I plead with you, readers, do the workbook! It’s kind of like when you have a vivid, detailed dream at night, and you want to get up and write it down, but you’re too lazy. And so you rationalize it and tell yourself, “Wow, that dream was so amazing, so unusual, so wild. I’ll be sure to remember it when I am up.’ And then, at 7:00AM, when the alarm goes off, you wake up and say, “Man, that was a wild dream I had last night. Something about a cake. Hmmm. Blue cake?? Hmm.”

And you’ve lost the entire message your unconscious was sending you because you were too lazy to get your rear end up and write it down. Same thing. Use the workbook in SexSmart!!!

How to Be a Sexual Man (Golden Tips)

Even though a man is aware of his nature that he is born to be a leader but still he acts like a whinny boy most of the time. According to women, men made women dominated in every area of life. They have lost the sexual masculinity from their nature. These statements of women are so true because when we communicate on validation level instead of attraction then we lose our masculine values. So, instead of feeling hurt and defensive, we need to understand that how to be a sexual man in our lives.

For an average man, “An exclusive sexy woman is like a million dollar check.” And unfortunately, this thinking of him demolishes his sexual traits. He always puts women on higher ranks and seeks the validation from them. During his life, he only focuses on attracting those higher rank women rather than making himself a sexual man.

Here I am giving you few precious tips that will make women see you as their “SEXUAL GOD”.

HOW TO BE A SEXUAL MAN?

Have you ever played chess? Have you ever noticed that even a soldier can become the center of the game? Well, I am giving you this example because for being a sexual man, it is not necessary whether you are king, rich or average. Your presence in environment is enough to curl the toes of women with extreme sexual attraction.

You would become the fantasy man of every woman if you focus on your traits. Read these below secret tips and adopt the traits of desirable sexual man.

1. Be the Worthy Man.
2. Be Extremely Sexual.

You can not be a sexual man without these two tips. These tips not only highlight the inner quality of you but also project you as a “Sexual God” in front of women. After reading these tips in detail, you would be surprised to know that there are much more hidden things which women desire in their fantasy man. So, let me shock you with the in-depth secrets which are highly attractive for women.

1. BE THE WORTHY MAN.

When it comes to women, most men think that only humor and body language do the magic in attraction. Unfortunately, these things drop them in friends’ category but never present them as worthy men. On the other hand, a worthy man covers the great deal of sexual attraction alone. He demonstrates control over his emotions, patience and life.

Few months back, I was having an interesting conversation with my one female friend, expert in human psychology. She said that, “Men can save majority of their time if they only focus on being a worthy man.” She also added, “Lack of masculinity in today’s men created the fantasy of rape for women.” According to her, it is really tough for women to find out a worthy man, a man who can fulfill all their emotional and sexual desires while keeping the attraction, interest and fun on higher level.

To help you understand the secret traits of worthy man, I am revealing one trait in simple words. This below trait not only leads you towards successful relationship but also makes you the sexual man in women’s arena.

• PERSONAL AUTHORITY: Authority is the primary need for being a worthy man. It allows you to project yourself as a dominant man. An authoritative man is a symbol of real masculinity. Also, in attraction it works wonderfully because girls want to be with a man who can dominate them. Your authoritative personality will never make her confuse or resentful entire life.

Now, you must be wondering that how to exactly project yourself as an authoritative man. Well, the only thing you need to do is to surround yourself with authoritative figures. Maintain good relationship with managers, restaurant owners, teachers and parents etc. Your relationships with authority figures keep your values on higher rank and nurture you as the worthy man.

For women, “An authoritative man is extremely sexual than average men.”

2. BE EXTREMELY SEXUAL.

As I said earlier, Authoritative man is extremely sexual than average man. Your authority makes women fantasize about you sexually. If you are in relationship then it will keep your woman faithful to you. Similarly, if you are dating then your personal authority will make women chase you.

Have you ever wondered that why women follow authoritative sexual man entire life? It is only because he exists in their sexual fantasies. He fulfills their emotional and sexual needs. Women desire a man who can dominate them and ravish them sexually. A part from romantic lovemaking, they want someone who can treat them roughly in sexuality. That’s why; the biggest sexual fantasy of women is “RAPE”.

You need to be extreme sexual for curving the toes of women with sexual pleasures. You can be the sexual man if you follow these below highly effective tips.

• It does not matter how old she is, “Always treat a woman like a virgin.” This strategy connects you with her on sexual and emotional level. This will put extreme sexual sensations inside her body.
• Use the power of “Sexual Whispering”. Whispering is the safest way that turns women on sexually and makes them see you with sexual lust.

“Be Her Sexual God.” If you want to know exactly that how to be a sexual man and create extreme sexual attraction then check this out… Be Her Sexual God.

Causes and Treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is by far the most frequent problem occurring in female sexual dysfunctions. It is generally characterized by persistent or recurrent absence of sexual fantasies or desires. In other words, the woman is rarely in the mood for any form of sexual activity; she neither initiates sex nor seek sexual stimulation. This condition is also referred to as inhibited sexual desire, low sexual desire, impaired sexual interest, and low libido, among others.

Causes of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypoactive sexual desire disorder may occur in a woman at any age. It may be present in adolescence and can persist throughout a woman’s life. However, HSDD often occurs during a woman’s adulthood, often times following a period of stress. The source of hypoactive sexual desire disorder may be multi-factorial illness, medications, and psychological issues.

Menopause

HSDD in women is more common as a result of menopause. Reduced estrogen to post-menopausal levels can lead to dryness of the vagina making sex painful which reduces motivation. The gradual decline of the hormones estrogen, progesterone and testosterone together serve to decrease drive.

Physical Problems

Physical ailments such as diabetes, heart diseases, vaginal yeast and urinary tract infections, neurological disorders, pelvic surgery, chronic liver disease and kidney diseases can all lead decreased or low sexual desire.

Psychological Problems

Psychological causes such as stress from work and family, relationship communication problems, anxiety, depression, and previous traumatic sexual experiences can also contribute to the development of this disorder.

Physical abuse

A lifelong or primary HSDD where a woman has never felt any sexual desire not exhibited interest in sex could be as a possible result of incest, sexual abuse or rape.

Repressive Cultures/Belief Systems

Certain repressive family attitudes towards sex which are often enhanced by rigid religious trainings can force individuals to think of sex as an immoral activity.

Unpleasant Initial Sexual Experience

Initial failed attempts at sexual intercourse or pains from first sexual experiences could also lead to HSDD.

Insufficient Sexual Hormone Levels

Low levels of testosterone may cause HSDD in males and females. However, while some argue that increasing testosterone levels even in those without low levels may also serve to increase sex drive; others are of the opinion that HSDD in males and females rarely results from insufficient levels of the male sex hormone, testosterone.

Relationship Boredom

A woman experiencing stagnation or boredom in a relationship can develop an acquired HSDD.

Medication Side Effects

The usage of antidepressants for depression, antihypertensive medication, and oral birth control pills may interfere with sex drive, arousal, and orgasm leading to the development of HSDD.

Sexual Function Impairment

Impairment of sexual functions such as vaginismus (an involuntary contraction or spasm of the pelvic floor muscles and outer third of the vagina resulting from an unconscious desire to prevent vaginal penetration thus making it impossible or very painful) can develop into HSDD. This may be due to incompatibility in sexual interest between the sexual partners. This can also occur in the presence of a sexually demanding partner.

Dyspareunia

Dyspareunia or painful intercourse due to surgery, injury or infection may also cause HSDD. Also inadequate lubrication at the time of penetration from insufficient foreplay can also cause painful intercourse.

General symptoms of HSDD in patients include infrequent and eventual absence of sexual activity; less enjoyment of sexual activities than she used to; avoidance of sex; and have fewer or no erotic dreams and sexual fantasies. In a selective and focused HSDD, there might be zero interest in having sex with their partners but have normal or increased real/fantasized sexual desires toward other men.

Treatment options for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Treat of HSDD is typically directed at removing or alleviating the underlying cause e.g. relationship misunderstanding, depression, and other sexual dysfunction (especially arousal or orgasm difficulties). When the problems causing HSDD arise from issues with sexual arousal or performance, then these dysfunctions will need to be directly addressed. It is acknowledged that majority of HSDD cases are situational in nature arising from dissatisfaction and loss of interest in the sexual partner. Thus there will be need for treatment to be within the context of the relationship itself and as such, it is common for both partners to be involved in therapy.

The use of antidepressants like Prozac and Paxil of which women are major consumers, has been known to be a major cause of decrease in libido in as much as 60 percent of patients. Where possible, it is advisable to switch to a lower dosage or to one that has less of a sexual side effect, like Celexa, Effexor, or Wellbutrin.

On the pharmaceutical side, testosterone supplementation in individuals with testosterone levels below the normal range (20 nanograms per deciliter) seems to be the treatment of choice. Although testosterone has not been approved for the treatment of HSDD by the FDA, studies have shown that several women who have used the testosterone patch have reported significant increase in the frequency of sexual activity and satisfying desire.

Sexual Harassment and Sex Discrimination Answers

Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Title VII applies to employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments. It also applies to employment agencies and to labor organizations, as well as to the federal government.

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.

Here are some Frequently Asked Questions:

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is defined as “unwelcome sexual advances or conduct.” Sexual harassment includes quid pro quo harassment or a hostile or offensive work environment. Sexual harassment is any kind of sexual conduct that is unwelcome and/or inappropriate for the work place. Sexual harassment can take many forms: verbal harassment, e.g. sexual or dirty jokes, visual harassment, e.g. drawings, emails, etc., physical harassment, and sexual favors, e.g. sexual advances, confrontation with sexual demands (quid pr quo sexual harassment). In the work place, sexual harassment can come from the owner, supervisors, managers, and co-workers. Sexual harassment does not only occur in the work place; it can occur off-site at office functions and parties.

Who can be held responsible if I am the victim of sexual harassment at work?

Both the employer and employees are liable for sexual harassment.

What is quid pro quo sexual harassment?

Quid pro quo sexual harassment takes place when a supervisor or someone with authority over your job demands sexual favors from you in exchange for a promotion, raise or some other benefit, including keeping your job. The demand for sexual favors can be explicit, e.g. “If you have sex with me, I will promote you,” or it can be implied from unwelcome physical contact such as touching or fondling.

What must I prove to prevail in a cause of action for quid pro quo sexual harassment?

You must show that a supervisor, or someone with authority over your job, explicitly or implicitly conditioned a job, retention of your job, a job benefit (raise, business trip, or some other benefit), on your acceptance of sexual conduct. You must demonstrate that the harasser is someone with authority who can affect conditions of your employment. You also have to prove that the sexual conduct was unwelcome.

How can I prove that the sexual conduct was unwelcome?

The sexual conduct must be unwelcome. You may show that the conduct was unwelcome by showing that you: explicitly rejected his/her sexual advances; you suffered emotional distress; your job performance deteriorated; you avoided the harasser; you told friends and/or family of the harassment; and you told a company representative of the harassment. Each case is different and your case may or may not include some of these examples.

What are my remedies in a quid pro quo sexual harassment case?

The law provides that you may recover damages from your employer once you have proven that you were deprived of a job benefit, or suffered an adverse employment action, e.g. failure to promote, termination of employment, because you refused to accept your supervisor’s sexual demands.

What To Do If I Think I am the Victim of Sexual Harassment?

Keep a record of the events surrounding the sexual harassment, include the date, time, place, and who was present. Your notes may become very important in litigating the case, but bear in mind that these notes may be required to be turned over to the employer during the discovery phase of litigation. Check the company’s employee handbook, if one exists, to determine if the company has a procedure for handling sexual harassment complaints. If the company has a procedure for filing a sexual harassment complaint you must comply with it.

If you do not complain to the employer, the employer can successfully defend itself from liability by arguing that it was not aware of the problem, and therefore was unable to remedy the problem. However, if the problem is not remedied, you may wish to speak to an attorney for advice on how to file a formal complaint with the appropriate federal or state or city agency. You may still want to speak with an attorney before you file the complaint with the company to ensure that it is communicated appropriately.

Once I inform my employer about the sexual harassment, what must my employer do?

Once the employer knows or should know about the harassment, it has a duty to take immediate and appropriate corrective action to end the harassment. The employer’s response must be reasonably calculated to end the harassment and if earlier discipline did not end the harassment, more severe discipline is required.

Is my employer still responsible if the harasser is a co-worker?

If the demand for sexual favors is made by a co-worker with no power to affect your employment opportunities, you cannot claim quid pro quo harassment. However, you may claim that the co-workers actions created a hostile work environment, and an employer may be held liable for the conduct of the employee if the employer knew or should have known of the employee’s conduct and failed to take prompt remedial action to stop the harassment.

What is “hostile work environment” sexual harassment?

As an employee, you have a right to work in an environment that is free of discrimination, intimidation, insult and ridicule. You have a potential claim for hostile work environment if the sexual harassment unreasonably interferes with your work performance or creates an offensive or intimidating work environment. In order to have a claim for hostile work environment, you must be able to prove that there was more than a single incident of harassment. You also have to show, as in quid pro quo sexual harassment, that the sexual conduct was unwelcome.

What are examples of a hostile or offensive work environment?

Sexually-charged jokes or pranks, being grabbed or whistled at, sexual advances, requests for sexual favors or other verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature can create a hostile work environment and can qualify as sexual harassment. Conduct that makes the workplace sexually charged does not need to be directly aimed at you. For example, being subject to offensive company-wide emails may create a hostile or offensive work environment.

What must I show in order to recover damages for a hostile work environment?

You must show that the unwelcome sexual conduct was so severe and pervasive that it “altered your conditions of employment by creating a psychologically abusive work environment.” The employer may be held liable if he/she knew or should have known of the harassment and failed to take prompt remedial steps to stop the harassment.

How can I prove that the harassing conduct was severe or pervasive enough to alter the working conditions and create an abusive environment?

You must be able to meet both an objective and a subjective standard. The objective standard is met if a Court determines that a “reasonable person in your position” would have considered the conduct severe or pervasive. Under the subjective standard, you must have actually found the conduct sufficiently severe or pervasive to interfere with your work environment. In other words, a Court looks at what your reaction to the conduct was, and whether your reaction was reasonable, according how a “reasonable person in your position” would have reacted.

What types of damages can I recover if I am successful in demonstrating sexual harassment?

A Court may order the company to: stop the harassment; pay lost wages and other job-related losses (e.g. promotions, or favorable work status you lost because of the sexual harassment); pay compensation for physical, mental and emotional injuries; pay punitive damages; pay your attorneys’ fees and expenses associated with litigating your case.